Balance

Spring term is under way! As my week to blog approached, I struggle to juggle my classes, homework, single-parenthood, league responsibilities, and my skating schedule. It keeps me on my toes and it occured to me that some people may think I'm nuts for trying to do it all.
Why would I do this to myself? Why do I schedule my days to the quarter-hour? Why is it that I try to bring so many things into balance?
That's exactly why- balance. Roller Derby brings balance to my life.
It offers an excuse to exercise (versus an excuse to NOT exercise). It gives me an outlet for aggression. These may seem minor, but are actually critical to my hapiness, stress-release, and ability to be a great mom.
I work and now study in the field of Special Education. In this area of my life, I am reminded of the importance of language, constantly aware of what I am saying and how I am saying it. It is a battle of censorship- not of ideas, but of appropriate expression of ideas to maximize their reception. Most folks in the professional world have experienced this at some point in time. Derby is where I can go and be myself and not censor my language (always maintaining respect, of course). Where I don't have to be articulate to be understood and respected.
Roller derby has also offered me an outlet for my leadership skills as well as my need to belong to something worthwhile. Here I can step up (or not) and know that I will always have a voice if I choose to participate.
Mostly, derby has brought balance to my definition of myself as a feminist. In the world of academia, it was easy to hold onto and practice the beliefs that fell under my definition of feminism. It is harder to do that in the "real world." The act of living life often diffuses these strongly-held beliefs. One day I realized that I was quietly subscribing to all the repressive institutions I had worked to expose and change. But what could be done? Where was a group that stood for something and did something about it?
Then I discovered Emerald City Roller Girls. Here was a place where female was held in the highest regard! Where women are strong AND sexy (and I mean really f'ing strong). Where women came in all shapes and sizes and where there was a places for all these differences.
So tomorrow, when I eat dinner in class, rush to the sitter's, then over to my teammate's house to throw in a workout before making it home just in time to cuddle for one bedtime story (and I mean one story, mister), I will breathe deep and remind myself of BALANCE.
-Boldy Knocks